Who Is In Control?

I woke up late this morning, after a very peaceful night's sleep. I read and meditated for about half an hour and when I came downstairs I began my task of filing and then dong some cleaning and I realized that sometimes it is the simple tasks that can be the most important in clearing my mind to be able to take on more difficult tasks later. By clearing my "working space" I also clear the working space in my mind.  

I have been learning a lot recently about minimalism, appreciating simple things in life and I recognize that I have too much stuff.  I also realized that my "stuff", the things "living" in my house are the things that are often in control of what I do.  The things constantly need to be moved, looked after, and they take up space.  Now some of these things may be important, but I recently cleaned out my pantry and at the back I found cake mixes that were several years outdated.  If I hadn''t had so much "stuff" in my pantry, I would have noticed that sooner.

I also have too much food in my freezer.  I live alone, so I don't really need to have a big freezer anymore, but since I do I often will buy things to put in it.  The problem is, if I don't eat it soon enough it gets freezer burn and is then wasted.  So who is in control?.....my stuff.

I retired from my day job almost 5 years ago and brought home boxes of papers and books from my 25 years of career counseling.  My thought was that I would use this "stuff" as I continued to work in the field part-time from my home.  I have not yet opened some of the boxes.  They are sitting upstairs in one of the bedrooms just taking up space.  So who is in control?....again my stuff.

My kitchen table is a "catch-all" for all kinds of papers, pens,, pencils and more, and this is where I work.  Is it any wonder that sometimes I feel scattered?  I think it is time that I begin to control my life instead of being controlled.  I will begin today to spend a minimum of 15 minutes per day cleaning some aspect of my world.  This may involve giving away books (gasp, the horror, but am I really going to read them all?) or perhaps some of my material (but really, I am going to quilt some day........) or even some of my yarn?  I have a whole container of knitted scarfs and toques to give to someone or some group.  Yes, today is the day I take control.   How about you?

To your success
BANABU

Fran

Habits - good or bad?

Habits

UNCONSCIOUSLY we are forming habits every moment of our lives. Some are habits of a desirable nature; some are those of a most undesirable nature.

 

Some, though not so bad in themselves, are exceedingly bad in their cumulative effects, and cause us at times much loss, much pain and anguish, while their opposites would, on the contrary, bring as much peace and joy, as well as a continually increasing power.

 

Have we it within our power to determine at all times what types of habits shall take form in our lives? In other words, is habit-forming, character-building, a matter of mere chance, or have we it within our own control? We have, entirely and absolutely. "I will be what I will to be," can be said and should be said by every human soul.

There is nothing more true in connection with human life than that we grow into the likeness of those things we contemplate. Literally and scientifically and necessarily true is it that "as a man thinketh in his heart, so is he."

 

The "is" part is his character. His character is the sum total of his habits. His habits have been formed by· his conscious acts; but every conscious act is, as we have found, preceded by a thought. And so we have it - thought on the one hand, character, life, and destiny on the other.

 

And simple it becomes when we bear in mind that it is simply the thought of the present moment, and the next moment when it is upon us, and then the next, and so on through all time.

 

One can in this way attain to whatever ideals he would attain to. Two steps are necessary: first, as the days pass, to form one's ideals; and second, to follow them continually, whatever may arise, wherever they may lead him.

 

Always remember that the great and strong character is the one who is ever ready to sacrifice the present pleasure for the future good

 

You decide what habits you will allow to control you and what habits you will control.  It takes time to make or break a habit.  Allow yourself 30 days of continual repetition before the habit becomes established.  You can change any aspect of your life if you work at it.

 

Good luck....

 

BANABU

Fran

Bridging The Gap

Bridging The Gap Between Knowledge and Action

Chances are, you already know what needs to be done.  You know you need to stop procrastinating.  You know you need to watch less TV. You know that you need to set smart goals and intelligent deadlines.  And hopefully, you know you need to track your work, track your results, and put more of your effort into the aspects of your business to give you the strongest results.

But there's a very big gap between knowledge into action.  Think of all the money that's spent on knowledge: whether it's a large companies trying to improve their efficiency, or housewives and stay at home dads trying to get into better shape. They know the adjustments they need to make, but they always fail to set habits and follow though.

Let's look together at some of the gaps that keep you from turning knowledge into profitable and useful habits.

The Fear Of Change
Failure can be comfortable.  It represents a continuation of a routine that, at least on some level, has brought us a lot of pleasure. Now where this breaks down is that pleasure and happiness are two very different things.  Pleasure can be bought with a cookie, it can be found in the bottom of a bottle, you can get a short rush of it with a few minutes on Facebook.

Happiness is harder, and the road towards it is longer, winding, and littered with distractions. The constant pursuit of pleasure, ironically enough, keeps more people away from becoming happy.

You Won't Learn By Doing
There are too many people who tried to do by learning instead of learning by doing.  Talking about problems to death rarely solves them. People talk too much already.  It's natural to want to go into a scary situation with knowledge at your back. But once you've learned the basics of a skill, start acting on it.  Then look for new information once you've run into a serious roadblock, or have a smaller aspect of the skill that demands your attention.

You Rely On Motivation Instead Of Habit
It's okay to "feel unmotivated" sometimes, to hit a roadblock and need something positive to dig you out. But you're always needing to be motivated for any kind of positive action in your life, it's a sign that you haven't really put the energy you should into setting habits.

Habits aren't subjects that need motivation.  Habits are things that we just do, whether it's a good time or a bad time.  If you can devote one month to establishing a positive habit, chances are much better that you do it for a long time to come.

Accepting "Life Excuses"
Too many people take "life happens" as an excuse not to do the things that they should.  It's almost like there's no effort to leap the obstacles that life puts in front of them.  It's important to set uninterrupted times and uninterrupted places for the most important priorities cannot be violated. 

When you give yourself a choice between any two things, there's a chance you will take the less beneficial choice.

Set up at daily routine that eliminates those choices.

Going From Zero To A Hundred
When it sinks in how far behind we are on our goals, it's easy to try to do too much at once and destroy our desire to improve altogether. While there are people who can handle this sort of drastic shift, for most people it'll be best to start small, focus on repetitive action, and scale up from there!

No More Excuses
The time for learning and not doing it over. Step up and start making a serious change in the way you approach problems... right now!

BANABU

Fran Watson

Building A New And Better (YO)U

"Who's the Boss?" 10 ways to start taking control (time management, goal setting, record tracking)

At first glance, it would seem that positive thinking and Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD) have nothing to do with one another. But many people with ADD develop negative thinking patterns because we become frustrated by our challenges and frequent feelings of being overwhelmed. This negative outlook then makes it even harder to manage those challenges and move forward.

Practicing positive thinking allows people with ADD to focus on strengths and accomplishments, which increases happiness and motivation. This, in turn, allows more time for making progress, and less time feeling down and stuck. The following tips provide some practical suggestions that you can use to help you shift into more positive thinking patterns:

1. Take Good Care of Yourself
It's much easier to be positive when you are eating well, exercising, and getting enough rest.

2. Remind Yourself of the Things You Are Grateful For
Stresses and challenges don't seem quite as bad when you are constantly reminding yourself of the things that are right in life. Taking just 60 seconds a day to stop and appreciate the good things will make a huge difference.

3. Look for the Proof Instead of Making Assumptions
A fear of not being liked or accepted sometimes leads us to assume that we know what others are thinking, but our fears are usually not reality. If you have a fear that a friend or family member's bad mood is due to something you did, or that your co-workers are secretly gossiping about you when you turn your back, speak up and ask them. Don't waste time worrying that you did something wrong unless you have proof that there is something to worry about.

4. Refrain from Using Absolutes
Have you ever told a partner "You're ALWAYS late!" or complained to a friend "You NEVER call me!"? Thinking and speaking in absolutes like 'always' and 'never' makes the situation seem worse than it is, and programs your brain into believing that certain people are incapable of delivering.

5. Detach From Negative Thoughts
Your thoughts can't hold any power over you if you don't judge them. If you notice yourself having a negative thought, detach from it, witness it, and don't follow it.

6. Squash the "ANTs"
In his book "Change Your Brain, Change Your Life," Dr. Daniel Amen talks about "ANTs" - Automatic Negative Thoughts. These are the bad thoughts that are usually reactionary, like "Those people are laughing, they must be talking about me," or "The boss wants to see me? It must be bad!" When you notice these thoughts, realize that they are nothing more than ANTs and squash them!

7. Practice Lovin', Touchin' & Squeezin' (Your Friends and Family)
You don't have to be an expert to know the benefits of a good hug. Positive physical contact with friends, loved ones, and even pets, is an instant pick-me-up. One research study on this subject had a waitress touch some of her customers on the arm as she handed them their checks. She received higher tips from these customers than from the ones she didn't touch!

8. Increase Your Social Activity
By increasing social activity, you decrease loneliness. Surround yourself with healthy, happy people, and their positive energy will affect you in a positive way!

9. Volunteer for an Organization, or Help another Person
Everyone feels good after helping. You can volunteer your time, your money, or your resources. The more positive energy you put out into the world, the more you will receive in return.

10. Use Pattern Interrupts to Combat Rumination
If you find yourself ruminating on the negatives in your life, a great way to stop it is to interrupt the pattern and force yourself to do something completely different. Rumination is like hyper-focus on something negative. It's never productive, because it's not rational or solution-oriented, it's just excessive worry. Try changing your physical environment - go for a walk or sit outside. You could also call a friend, pick up a book, or turn on some music.

BANABU - To Building A New And Better Universe - A New And Better (YO)U

Fran Watson

Ten Commandments of Human Relations

1.      Speak to people.  There is nothing as nice as a cheerful word.

2.      Smile at people.  It takes 72 muscles to frown, only 14 to smile.

3.      Call people by name.  The sweetest music to anyone’s ears is the sound of his/her  name.

4.      Be friendly and helpful.  If you would have friends, be friendly.

5.      Be cordial.  Speak and act as if everything you do were a pleasure.

6.      Be genuinely interested in people.  You can like every body if you try.

7.      Be generous with praise – cautious with criticism.

8.      Be considerate with the feelings of others – it s appreciated.,

9.      Be thoughtful of the opinions of others – there are three sides to a controversy – yours, the other person’s and the right one.

10.  Be alert to give service.  What counts most in life is what we do for others.

Be kind to one another

Fran Watson

Good Habits

Good habits are hard to come by. They take WORK – a four letter word that many people fear (another four letter word).

If you want success, you must develop good habits. This takes discipline. It is easy to slide into bad habits – sleeping in just a little bit longer, putting off a task until the end of this tv show, eating just one more helping of dessert. It takes discipline to get up when the alarm goes off, to get started on your daily tasks, to tackle the difficult chores before the easy ones – but it is worth it in the long run.

Do you know someone who is very busy but always seems to be able to get things done? Ask them how they do it. They probably have excellent time management skills and you may be able to learn from them.

Do you know someone who is highly successful in their business? Observe them, see what they do, how they treat people. Talk to them, ask them their secret to success. They will probably tell you about some good habits they developed.

In order to develop good habits it is necessary to have a goal, something you can focus on to give you a reason to achieve. For instance, if you want to lose weight, you may put up a picture on the fridge of what you want to look like, so that when you are tempted by that dessert, you can say no. When you think about eating lasagne instead of stir fry, you can say no. You begin to develop healthy eating habits and the habit of exercise in order to have a healthy body. In the beginning you have to work hard to stick to the habits, but eventually they become part of your daily life and you do them without thinking. Think about it – do you think about your morning routine – get up, brush teeth, go to the bathroom, shower, get dressed – or is it a habit?

It takes approximately 3-4 weeks to make or break a habit. This means that you do the task repeatedly every day for that entire time so that your brain develops the necessary pattern.

So, do you want to be successful in life? Develop good habits. It’s worth it.

To your success

Fran Watson
www.franwatson.ca

P.S. If you want some help in developing your successful habits, click here

Habits

A habit is something that you do so often and so regularly that it becomes automatic. This is a behavior that you can easily repeat.

Our habits are directly related to our comfort and well-being. The process of adapting to our environment is what creates a habit. With habits we don't have to constantly experiment or deal with unknown risks.

Our habits help define us. The way we adapt to our environment and how we typically behave say a lot about who we are as human beings. What do we know about someone with the habit of not eating meat? What about someone with the habit of smoking cigarettes? How about the person with the habit of running five miles each day?

Do you have a habit that you would like to get rid of?  I was just listening to Bob Proctor (Six Minutes To Success) this morning and he talked about habits and what we need to do to be successful.

Replace Rather than Change a Habit

Habits are extremely difficult to change because they are tied to our identities. Notice that I haven't said anything about "breaking a habit." I avoid that terminology because, as Bob said,  a habit is dependent on repetition. Therefore, if we replace the activity that is the former habit–such as lighting a cigarette after dinner–with some other activity–such as taking a walk or chewing a stick of gum–the repetition ceases and the coding of the smoking habit is reduced dramatically.

The key to succeeding in replacing old habits with new ones is ensuring that the new behaviors are more appealing, effective, and beneficial than their predecessors.
In effect, replacing less effective habits with more effective ones, and creating new habits that foster greater success and well-being, is the most expedient ways to increase and expand your personal brilliance.

"It’s impressive to recognize that all the great leaders in all walks of life, and during all periods of history, have attained their leadership by the application of their abilities behind a definite major purpose. It’s no less impressive to observe that those who are classified as failures have no such purpose but they go around and around like a ship without a rudder, coming back always empty handed to their starting point.”  From Napoleon Hill's The Master Key To Riches

Think about the things you do that are habits that serve you - taking a shower, getting dressed, brushing your teeth, driving your car, etc.  What are some of the things you would like to change.  Think about their polar opposite.  As Mike Kemski says everything is a duality - black and white, pros and cons, clean and dirty - look at what is the exact opposite of the bad habit and choose to make that a good habit.  Think about it and practice it daily for at least a month in order to make it a habit.  If you miss a day, start over. 

It takes 3 weeks to make or break a habit and in 90 days you can completely change your life.

Choose which habit you will transform to create a new and better U

To your life changing success

BANABU

Fran