Don't Worry...Be Happy

Genuine Happiness Comes from Within

Sometimes, when we feel like the world is just too heavy, we look around and find people who continued to live fascinating and wonderful lives. And then thoughts come popping into our minds like bubbles from nowhere – “How did their life become so adorably sweet? How come they still can manage to laugh and play around despite a busy stressful life?” 

As we pause and observe for awhile we may realize that they started to work on a place called ‘self’.

So, how does one become genuinely happy? Step 1 is to love yourself.

A theology professor once said that “loving means accepting.”  To love oneself means to accept that you are not a perfect being, but behind the imperfections must lie a great ounce of courage to be able to discover ways on how to improve our repertoire to recover from our mistakes.

Genuine happiness also pertains to contentment. When you are contented with the job you have, the way you look, with your family, your friends, the place you live in, your car, and all the things you now have – truly, you know the answer to the question “how to be genuinely happy.”

When we begin to discover a small start somewhere from within, that small start will eventually lead to something else, and to something else. But if you keep questioning life like  and looking for the negative in everything, you will never be able to find genuine happiness.

I believe that life is about finding out about trying and failing, wining and losing, right and wrong. These are things that happen as often as you inhale and exhale. Failure in a person’s life has become as abundant and necessary as air. But this should not hinder us from becoming happy.

You may be at a down point in your life at the moment and wonder, how can we be genuinely happy in spite all these?

Take one step at a time.

Every time you exert an effort to improve the quality of life and your being, whether it is cleaning up your room, helping a friend, taking care of your sick dog, failing on board exams and trying again, life gives you equivalent points for that.

Imagine life as a big score board like those which are used in the NFLs. Every time you take a step forward, you make scoring points. Wouldn’t it be nice to look at that board at the end of each game and think to yourself “Whew! I got a point today. I’m glad I gave it a shot.”, instead of looking at it all blank and murmur “Geez, I didn’t even hit a score today. I wish I had the guts to try out. We could have won!” and then walk away.

Genuine happiness isn’t about driving the hottest Formula 1 car, nor getting the employee of the year award, earning the highest 13th month pay, or beating the sales quota. Sometimes, the most sought after prizes in life don’t always go to the fastest, the strongest, the bravest or not even the best.

So, how do you become genuinely happy? 

Every one has their own definition of ‘happiness’. Happiness for a writer may mean launching a best selling book. Happiness for a basketball rookie may mean getting the rookie of the year award. Happiness for a beggar may mean finding a lot of money. Happiness for a business man may mean corporate success.

So, really now, how do we become genuinely happy? Simple. Its about doing and making the best out of every single thing. You don’t have to have the best things in this world. When you find yourself smiling at your own mistake and telling your self “Oh, I’ll do better next time”, your willingness to stand up again and try – that will make you a genuinely happy person.

When you learn to accept yourself and your own faults. You pass step 1 in the project “how to become genuinely happy”.

Love and accept others as you love yourself.  Laugh at your foibles.  Be empathetic and kind to others.  Do something for someone else and do something for yourself.  Don't give so much away that you have nothing left for you.  It takes courage to be happy.  Be of good courage.

BANABU

Fran Watson

Happiness -- Who Needs It?? How Do I Get It??

Be As Happy as You Want to Be

Almost everyone have heard the hit single 'Don't Worry, Be Happy' by Bobby McFerrin. The song has a very catchy way of conveying its message of being happy to everyone. Bobby Mcferiin's simple message surely made a lot of people by telling them not to worry.

Living a happy, resilient and optimistic life is wonderful, and is also good for your health. Being happy actually protects you from the stresses of life. Stress is linked to top causes of death such as heart disease, cancer and stroke.

One of the better things ever said is - 'The only thing in life that will always remain the same is change'. We have the power to make the necessary changes if we want to. Even if we find ourselves in an unbearable situation we can always find solace in the knowledge that it too can change.

Social networks or relationships are essential to happiness. People are different, accept people for who or what they are, avoid clashes, constant arguments, and let go of all kinds of resentments. If arguments seem unavoidable still try and make an effort to understand the situation and you might just get along well with the person.

Happiness is actually found in everyone, increasing it is a way to make a life more wonderful and also more healthy.

To be happy is relatively easy, just decide to be a happy person. Abraham Lincoln observed that most people for most of the time can choose how happy or stressed, how relaxed or troubled, how bright or dull their outlook will be. The choice is simple really, choose to be happy.

There are several ways by which you can do this.

Being grateful is a great attitude. We have so much to be thankful for. Thank the taxi driver for bringing you home safely, thank the cook for a wonderful dinner and thank the guy who cleans your windows. Also thank the mailman for bringing you your mail, thank the policeman for making your place safe and thank God for being alive.

News is stressful. Get less of it. Some people say they just can't start their day without their daily dose of news. Try and think about it, 99% of the news we hear or read is bad news. Starting the day with bad news does not seem to be a sensible thing to do.

A religious connection is also recommended. Being part of a religious group with its singing, sacraments, chanting, prayers and meditations foster inner peace.

Manage your time. Time is invaluable and too important to waste. Time management can be viewed as a list of rules that involves scheduling, setting goals, planning, creating lists of things to do and prioritizing. These are the core basics of time management that should be understood to develop an efficient personal time management skill. These basic skills can be fine tuned further to include the finer points of each skill that can give you that extra reserve to make the results you desire.

Laugh and laugh heartily everyday. Heard a good joke? Tell your friends or family about it. As they also say -'Laughter is the best medicine'.

Express your feelings, affections, friendship and passion to people around you. They will most likely reciprocate your actions. Try not to keep pent up anger or frustrations, this is bad for your health. Instead find ways of expressing them in a way that will not cause more injury or hurt to anyone.

Working hard brings tremendous personal satisfaction. It gives a feeling of being competent in finishing our tasks. Accomplishments are necessary for all of us, they give us a sense of value. Work on things that you feel worthy of your time.

Learning is a joyful exercise. Try and learn something new everyday. Learning also makes us expand and broaden our horizons. And could also give us more opportunities in the future.

Run, jog, walk and do other things that your body was made for. Feel alive.

Avoid exposure to negative elements like loud noises, toxins and hazardous places.

These are the few simple things you can do everyday to be happy.

As Abraham Lincoln, said, "Most people are about as happy as they make up their minds to be."

So, be happy

Enjoy your life and make other people happy too.

Remember, it takes fewer muscles to smile than it does to frown

To your happiness

Fran Watson

Bridging The Gap

Bridging The Gap Between Knowledge and Action

Chances are, you already know what needs to be done.  You know you need to stop procrastinating.  You know you need to watch less TV. You know that you need to set smart goals and intelligent deadlines.  And hopefully, you know you need to track your work, track your results, and put more of your effort into the aspects of your business to give you the strongest results.

But there's a very big gap between knowledge into action.  Think of all the money that's spent on knowledge: whether it's a large companies trying to improve their efficiency, or housewives and stay at home dads trying to get into better shape. They know the adjustments they need to make, but they always fail to set habits and follow though.

Let's look together at some of the gaps that keep you from turning knowledge into profitable and useful habits.

The Fear Of Change
Failure can be comfortable.  It represents a continuation of a routine that, at least on some level, has brought us a lot of pleasure. Now where this breaks down is that pleasure and happiness are two very different things.  Pleasure can be bought with a cookie, it can be found in the bottom of a bottle, you can get a short rush of it with a few minutes on Facebook.

Happiness is harder, and the road towards it is longer, winding, and littered with distractions. The constant pursuit of pleasure, ironically enough, keeps more people away from becoming happy.

You Won't Learn By Doing
There are too many people who tried to do by learning instead of learning by doing.  Talking about problems to death rarely solves them. People talk too much already.  It's natural to want to go into a scary situation with knowledge at your back. But once you've learned the basics of a skill, start acting on it.  Then look for new information once you've run into a serious roadblock, or have a smaller aspect of the skill that demands your attention.

You Rely On Motivation Instead Of Habit
It's okay to "feel unmotivated" sometimes, to hit a roadblock and need something positive to dig you out. But you're always needing to be motivated for any kind of positive action in your life, it's a sign that you haven't really put the energy you should into setting habits.

Habits aren't subjects that need motivation.  Habits are things that we just do, whether it's a good time or a bad time.  If you can devote one month to establishing a positive habit, chances are much better that you do it for a long time to come.

Accepting "Life Excuses"
Too many people take "life happens" as an excuse not to do the things that they should.  It's almost like there's no effort to leap the obstacles that life puts in front of them.  It's important to set uninterrupted times and uninterrupted places for the most important priorities cannot be violated. 

When you give yourself a choice between any two things, there's a chance you will take the less beneficial choice.

Set up at daily routine that eliminates those choices.

Going From Zero To A Hundred
When it sinks in how far behind we are on our goals, it's easy to try to do too much at once and destroy our desire to improve altogether. While there are people who can handle this sort of drastic shift, for most people it'll be best to start small, focus on repetitive action, and scale up from there!

No More Excuses
The time for learning and not doing it over. Step up and start making a serious change in the way you approach problems... right now!

BANABU

Fran Watson

Building A New And Better (YO)U

"Who's the Boss?" 10 ways to start taking control (time management, goal setting, record tracking)

At first glance, it would seem that positive thinking and Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD) have nothing to do with one another. But many people with ADD develop negative thinking patterns because we become frustrated by our challenges and frequent feelings of being overwhelmed. This negative outlook then makes it even harder to manage those challenges and move forward.

Practicing positive thinking allows people with ADD to focus on strengths and accomplishments, which increases happiness and motivation. This, in turn, allows more time for making progress, and less time feeling down and stuck. The following tips provide some practical suggestions that you can use to help you shift into more positive thinking patterns:

1. Take Good Care of Yourself
It's much easier to be positive when you are eating well, exercising, and getting enough rest.

2. Remind Yourself of the Things You Are Grateful For
Stresses and challenges don't seem quite as bad when you are constantly reminding yourself of the things that are right in life. Taking just 60 seconds a day to stop and appreciate the good things will make a huge difference.

3. Look for the Proof Instead of Making Assumptions
A fear of not being liked or accepted sometimes leads us to assume that we know what others are thinking, but our fears are usually not reality. If you have a fear that a friend or family member's bad mood is due to something you did, or that your co-workers are secretly gossiping about you when you turn your back, speak up and ask them. Don't waste time worrying that you did something wrong unless you have proof that there is something to worry about.

4. Refrain from Using Absolutes
Have you ever told a partner "You're ALWAYS late!" or complained to a friend "You NEVER call me!"? Thinking and speaking in absolutes like 'always' and 'never' makes the situation seem worse than it is, and programs your brain into believing that certain people are incapable of delivering.

5. Detach From Negative Thoughts
Your thoughts can't hold any power over you if you don't judge them. If you notice yourself having a negative thought, detach from it, witness it, and don't follow it.

6. Squash the "ANTs"
In his book "Change Your Brain, Change Your Life," Dr. Daniel Amen talks about "ANTs" - Automatic Negative Thoughts. These are the bad thoughts that are usually reactionary, like "Those people are laughing, they must be talking about me," or "The boss wants to see me? It must be bad!" When you notice these thoughts, realize that they are nothing more than ANTs and squash them!

7. Practice Lovin', Touchin' & Squeezin' (Your Friends and Family)
You don't have to be an expert to know the benefits of a good hug. Positive physical contact with friends, loved ones, and even pets, is an instant pick-me-up. One research study on this subject had a waitress touch some of her customers on the arm as she handed them their checks. She received higher tips from these customers than from the ones she didn't touch!

8. Increase Your Social Activity
By increasing social activity, you decrease loneliness. Surround yourself with healthy, happy people, and their positive energy will affect you in a positive way!

9. Volunteer for an Organization, or Help another Person
Everyone feels good after helping. You can volunteer your time, your money, or your resources. The more positive energy you put out into the world, the more you will receive in return.

10. Use Pattern Interrupts to Combat Rumination
If you find yourself ruminating on the negatives in your life, a great way to stop it is to interrupt the pattern and force yourself to do something completely different. Rumination is like hyper-focus on something negative. It's never productive, because it's not rational or solution-oriented, it's just excessive worry. Try changing your physical environment - go for a walk or sit outside. You could also call a friend, pick up a book, or turn on some music.

BANABU - To Building A New And Better Universe - A New And Better (YO)U

Fran Watson

Ten Commandments of Human Relations

1.      Speak to people.  There is nothing as nice as a cheerful word.

2.      Smile at people.  It takes 72 muscles to frown, only 14 to smile.

3.      Call people by name.  The sweetest music to anyone’s ears is the sound of his/her  name.

4.      Be friendly and helpful.  If you would have friends, be friendly.

5.      Be cordial.  Speak and act as if everything you do were a pleasure.

6.      Be genuinely interested in people.  You can like every body if you try.

7.      Be generous with praise – cautious with criticism.

8.      Be considerate with the feelings of others – it s appreciated.,

9.      Be thoughtful of the opinions of others – there are three sides to a controversy – yours, the other person’s and the right one.

10.  Be alert to give service.  What counts most in life is what we do for others.

Be kind to one another

Fran Watson

How Are You Doing?

Every time I log into Facebook, it asks me "What's on your mind?"  I wonder why they want to know, are they really interested in who I am and what I am thinking about or are they just trying to figure out how they can market to me?

Have you ever felt that when people ask the question, "How are you doing?" they are just waiting to tell you how they are doing, but they want to be polite and ask you first? 

It seems to me that it happens more and more often.  People also ask the question as they pass you on the street, but they really don't expect you to stop and tell them.  "Hi, how are you doing?" they say as they walk on by.  I sometimes wonder what would happen if you stopped and said, "Actually, I'm not doing very well.  I had this (operation/accident/event) happen and ......"  Can't you just picture them squirming and wanting to get away?

How many times have you asked the question and not waited for the answer?  Or just expected someone to say "great, how are you?" as they pass on by. 

Well, today, I want to really ask you... "How are you doing?"  Are things going well in your life?  Do you need a little help or support?  A listening ear?  If so, post a message below or send me an email.  I will take the time to listen and respond to you.

Have a great day!!

Fran Watson

Problems with Clutter?

10 Questions to Help You Declutter
by Mandi on April 12, 2010
http://organizing.yourway.net/10-questions-to-help-you-declutter/

BANABU - Building a New and Better Universe - Building a New and Better U (you)

"One aspect of having a simple home is to keep it free from clutter. While there are varying degrees of this and not everyone chooses to live a minimalist lifestyle, there’s no way to get around the need to declutter regularly as part of your simplifying goal."

This list really hit home to me. I am going to print it out and carry it with me and look at it as I go through each room of my house. There are so many things that fit into these categories. I raise 4 children and I still have things in the "to be mended" bag that no longer fit them. Time to toss. And the number of things I have held onto "just in case"....wow.

I hope this list will help you too in your journey to BANABU.

1. Is this item something I use regularly?
A lot of times we keep gadgets, tools, toys, art supplies, et cetera around because they seem useful. However, it’s important to consider how often you actually use each item when deciding whether it’s worth keeping or should be given away. If you haven’t touched it in three to six months (or more), despite your best intentions, it is a good candidate for decluttering.

2. If not, is it something I love?
Of course, there are obviously exceptions to this rule (including seasonal items that you usually regularly in season). One exception I would always encourage you to make is for items you love. Keeping a painting from your grandmother that you love even if it doesn’t have a place in your current home is much different than keeping a snowcone maker that you have been meaning to use for two summers but never seem to have the motivation to actually pull out.

3. Am I keeping this out of obligation or expectation?
Chances are there is at least one thing in your home that you’re keeping not because it’s useful or you love it but because it was a gift from someone and you feel obligated to keep it. While I completely understand the desire not to hurt someone’s feelings, I think it is also important to remember that this is your home and if it is affecting your life, it’s okay to declutter gifts as well as the things that you’ve bought for yourself.

4. Am I holding onto this because I think I should love it?
Maybe you have a piece of artwork or a trendy outfit you picked up because they were popular and you felt like you should love them, even though you really don’t. Maybe your craft area is stocked with supplies for a hobby that no longer interests you. In all of these cases, it’s important to consider how you really feel and make your decisions based on those feelings rather than the ones you think you should have!

5. Am I saving this just in case?
One of the most common causes of clutter is a fear of needing something that you’ve given or thrown away. The reality is that if you commit to simplifying and decluttering, chances are that this will happen at some point. But for those of us who take the plunge to get rid of the unnecessary, the benefit of a clutter-free home is almost always worth the tiny bit of regret in these situations.

6. Do I have multiples of the same thing?
How many spoons or spatulas do you really need in your kitchen? Obviously your answer will depend on the type of cook you are, but ask yourself this question whenever you have multiples of any item. There’s a difference between being prepared and more efficient and just creating clutter!

7. Could something else I own do the same job?
I think this is a fun question! As you’re decluttering, look at any specialized tools or items you have and ask yourself if you could do the same job with another item, thereby cutting down on the number of different things you keep. To use another kitchen example, I decided to simplify our entertaining by giving away a bunch of our serving bowls once I bought a set of beautiful stainless steel mixing bowls from Ikea. I use these every day for cooking, but they also make great bowls for chips, dip, ice, et cetera.

8. Am I holding onto a broken item to fix one day?
This is another classic cause of clutter. Perhaps you have a piece of broken furniture or a broken electronic that you’re just sure you will have the time and desire to fix at some point. But ask yourself how long it’s been sitting in storage waiting for that day to come and whether you’re really ever going to get to it as you make the tough decisions about what to keep and what to get rid of.

9. Is this item worth the time I spend cleaning/storing it?
It’s important to remember that both your time and the space in your home have value. Think about how much time you spend cleaning knickknacks that you don’t really love. Or how about the time you spend sorting through the things in storage time and again to either find something you do need or want or to try to declutter once more. Would your life have less stress and busyness without those items?

10. Could I use this space for something else?
Think of the possibilities of what you could do with a closet or storage area in your home if you weren’t holding onto everything that currently fills it. What about a shelf full of knickknacks or books that don’t really interest anyone in your home? Your space has value too, and it’s important to look at the cost of everything you keep in terms of the space it occupies as well.

Which of these questions is the most challenging for you? Are there items in your home that you need to give yourself permission to give or throw away?


Fran Watson


P.S. For more info Click Here!

Do you have a lot of unfinished projects? Things you started in 2008?� Maybe a web site you started?� Maybe a project around the house?� I have a couple of household projects that are 80% finished. I’m going to take some time out today and tomorrow to finish them up.

One of the things about cleaning up and finishing projects is that it is an emotional relief. Having all that unfinished stuff is just extra baggage holding you back.

I know with my household projects I’m sensitive to the fact that they aren’t finished. Sure I have excuses as to why they aren’t but I know it bugs my family and they can’t do anything about it. They are my projects. I’m the one that needs to step up and take action on them. When I do I will feel better about having accomplished them and I’ll be ready to move on into 2009 on the right foot.

How about you?

What projects do you need to finish?

Take some time right now to list them, then write down a date by which you will complete them, then post the list in a location where you will see them every day.

Fran

Happiness - A Byproduct

Happiness is a by-product.

We can't buy it, because it has no price.

Some people try to purchase happiness by getting drunk; others build fine houses, and some travel around the world.

But the goal is as elusive as the horizon.

The main issue in life is service, and happiness is incidental to service.

To try to win happiness from the world without erving the world is like trying to distill gasoline from water instead of from crude oil. It can't be done.

The contractor who erects an honest, substantial building wins happiness.

The statesman who forwards the cause of humanity wins happiness.

The judge who reads the law in the light of common sense wins happiness.

Those reckless fellows who balance themselves on four-inch beams, ten stories above ground, and toss white-hot rivets back and forth, win happiness.

The law of happiness is as inexorable as the law of graviation.

Without service there shall be no happiness, says nature.

And it's a good law, too.

Author unknown

To your happiness!!

Fran Watson

P.S. Having just come back from a meeting at 10:30 pm, this little prayer spoke to me as I sat down at my computer. May it bless you too!

God Bless All Tired Fok Tonight

God bless all tired folk tonight
And give them dreamless sleep;
God bless all lonely, anxious folk
Who in the darkness weep.
God bless all little children thought
They harass us by day;
And old folk, too, and careless folk
Who never kneel to pray.
God bless all those who try and fail,
And all who suffer pain;
God bless all those away from home
And bring them back again.
God bless all honest, patient folk
In cottage and in hall,
And as we need His love and care,
God bless us one and all.

P.P.S. I ask God's special blessing on all soldiers both at home and away. Amen.