Don't Worry...Be Happy

Genuine Happiness Comes from Within

Sometimes, when we feel like the world is just too heavy, we look around and find people who continued to live fascinating and wonderful lives. And then thoughts come popping into our minds like bubbles from nowhere – “How did their life become so adorably sweet? How come they still can manage to laugh and play around despite a busy stressful life?” 

As we pause and observe for awhile we may realize that they started to work on a place called ‘self’.

So, how does one become genuinely happy? Step 1 is to love yourself.

A theology professor once said that “loving means accepting.”  To love oneself means to accept that you are not a perfect being, but behind the imperfections must lie a great ounce of courage to be able to discover ways on how to improve our repertoire to recover from our mistakes.

Genuine happiness also pertains to contentment. When you are contented with the job you have, the way you look, with your family, your friends, the place you live in, your car, and all the things you now have – truly, you know the answer to the question “how to be genuinely happy.”

When we begin to discover a small start somewhere from within, that small start will eventually lead to something else, and to something else. But if you keep questioning life like  and looking for the negative in everything, you will never be able to find genuine happiness.

I believe that life is about finding out about trying and failing, wining and losing, right and wrong. These are things that happen as often as you inhale and exhale. Failure in a person’s life has become as abundant and necessary as air. But this should not hinder us from becoming happy.

You may be at a down point in your life at the moment and wonder, how can we be genuinely happy in spite all these?

Take one step at a time.

Every time you exert an effort to improve the quality of life and your being, whether it is cleaning up your room, helping a friend, taking care of your sick dog, failing on board exams and trying again, life gives you equivalent points for that.

Imagine life as a big score board like those which are used in the NFLs. Every time you take a step forward, you make scoring points. Wouldn’t it be nice to look at that board at the end of each game and think to yourself “Whew! I got a point today. I’m glad I gave it a shot.”, instead of looking at it all blank and murmur “Geez, I didn’t even hit a score today. I wish I had the guts to try out. We could have won!” and then walk away.

Genuine happiness isn’t about driving the hottest Formula 1 car, nor getting the employee of the year award, earning the highest 13th month pay, or beating the sales quota. Sometimes, the most sought after prizes in life don’t always go to the fastest, the strongest, the bravest or not even the best.

So, how do you become genuinely happy? 

Every one has their own definition of ‘happiness’. Happiness for a writer may mean launching a best selling book. Happiness for a basketball rookie may mean getting the rookie of the year award. Happiness for a beggar may mean finding a lot of money. Happiness for a business man may mean corporate success.

So, really now, how do we become genuinely happy? Simple. Its about doing and making the best out of every single thing. You don’t have to have the best things in this world. When you find yourself smiling at your own mistake and telling your self “Oh, I’ll do better next time”, your willingness to stand up again and try – that will make you a genuinely happy person.

When you learn to accept yourself and your own faults. You pass step 1 in the project “how to become genuinely happy”.

Love and accept others as you love yourself.  Laugh at your foibles.  Be empathetic and kind to others.  Do something for someone else and do something for yourself.  Don't give so much away that you have nothing left for you.  It takes courage to be happy.  Be of good courage.

BANABU

Fran Watson

Burnout

A few weeks ago I found myself involved in a war of words with a colleague.  I did not respond well and found myself shaking and in tears for much of a two week period.  I wasn't sleeping well, I wasn't eating well, and I certainly was not happy.  It was time to stop for a while and take stock of what was happening.

I have been reading Simple Abundance by Sarah Bean Breathnach for the past 9 months and today's reading hit me between the eyes. 

She began with a quote by Edna St. Vincent Millay:  My candle burns on both ends;  It will not last the night.  Exactly what I was feeling.

She went on to say that "burnout is a condition caused by unbalance:  too much work or responsibility, too little time to do it, over too long a period."  Yes, that too.  Too many clubs, too much responsibility, feeling I had to carry everything on my shoulders, that if things failed, it would be my fault, and over too long a time period -- 12 years.  Or wait, maybe it was even longer, maybe 28 years - since my husband left me with 4 kids to raise, and when I worked full time, raised the kids and took my university degree over 13 years.

Whatever it was, as Sarah said, "a smoldering flame can be just as deadly as a flash fire" and I think that things were smoldering below the surface for quite some time.  Sarah called it when she said, "first degree burnout--the soul snuffer--comes from living unbalanced for years, when what was supposed to be a temporary situation becomes a lifestyle".

Her final paragraph told me what I have to do.  "When you're suffering from burnout, you are the only person on earth who can help because you're the only one who can make the lifestyle changes that need to be made; to call a halt, to take a slower path, to make a detour."  And so I have.  I have cut back on meetings.  I am letting others take control.  I am backing away from too much responsibility.  I am taking better care of me, going to bed earlier, eating better, stopping work earlier, taking time to get out in nature.

How about you?  Are you beginning to feel the strain of burnout?  Take the time now to make the necessary changes before you crash and burn. 

See below for a short test you can take.

Fran

To a new and better you  (BANABU)

ARE YOU A STRESS PRONE PERSONALITY?

SCORE YOURSELF:                        4 Always         3 Frequently    2 Sometimes    1 Never

1.      Do you try to do as much as possible in the least amount of time?                _____

2.      Do you become impatient with delays or interruptions?                                _____

3.      Do you always have to win games to enjoy yourself?                                    _____

4.      Do you speed up the car to beat the red light?                                               _____

5.      Are you unlikely to ask for help with a problem?                                           _____

6.      Do you constantly seek admiration and respect from others?                        _____

7.      Are you overly critical of the way others do their work?                               _____

8.      Do you have the habit of looking at your watch or clock often?                   _____

9.      Do you constantly strive to better your position and achievements?             _____

10.  Do you spread yourself too thin in terms of time?                                         _____

11.  Do you do more than one thing at a time?                                                     _____

12.  Do you frequently get irritable or angry?                                                       _____

13.  Do you have little time for hobbies or time by yourself?                               _____

14.  Do you have a habit of talking quickly or hastening conversations?              _____

15.  Do you consider yourself hard-driving?                                                         _____

16.  Do your friends or relatives consider you hard-driving?                                _____

17.  Do you have a tendency to get involved in multiple projects?                       _____

18.  Do you have a lot of deadlines in your work?                                                _____

19.  Do you feel vaguely guilty if you relax and do nothing during leisure?        _____

20.  Do you take on too many responsibilities?                                                     _____

·         Between 20 – 30, your life probably lacks stimulation

·         Between 31 – 50, you have a good balance in your ability to handle stress

·         Between 51 – 60, you are bordering on excessively tense

·         Over 60 – you may be a candidate for heart disease

How Are You Doing?

Every time I log into Facebook, it asks me "What's on your mind?"  I wonder why they want to know, are they really interested in who I am and what I am thinking about or are they just trying to figure out how they can market to me?

Have you ever felt that when people ask the question, "How are you doing?" they are just waiting to tell you how they are doing, but they want to be polite and ask you first? 

It seems to me that it happens more and more often.  People also ask the question as they pass you on the street, but they really don't expect you to stop and tell them.  "Hi, how are you doing?" they say as they walk on by.  I sometimes wonder what would happen if you stopped and said, "Actually, I'm not doing very well.  I had this (operation/accident/event) happen and ......"  Can't you just picture them squirming and wanting to get away?

How many times have you asked the question and not waited for the answer?  Or just expected someone to say "great, how are you?" as they pass on by. 

Well, today, I want to really ask you... "How are you doing?"  Are things going well in your life?  Do you need a little help or support?  A listening ear?  If so, post a message below or send me an email.  I will take the time to listen and respond to you.

Have a great day!!

Fran Watson

Life has a way of getting in the way

Have you ever noticed that?

You have good intentions, you have a goal in mind, but something gets in the way.  You lose focus, your goal seems to have drifted off into the clouds.  Why? 

Because you didn't have a plan.

Your goal is in the clouds because you didn't determine the steps needed to reach it and so it began to slip away.

Has this happened to you recently?  It happened to me. 

I started this year full of expectations and ideas of things I wanted to accomplish, and here it is 3 months later and this is the first blog post I have made in 3 months.  It doesn't mean that I haven't been busy pursuing some of my goals, because I have.  I have been doing workshops on Time Management and Communication and Conflict Resolution.  I have been giving presentations at my Toastmasters Clubs, but, my goal to post weekly updates on my blog.... well, I didn't set an action plan in place and here I am.

Today I am determining to do better.  I am going to write down in my Day Timer a schedule for my blogs - for this blog - BANABU, for my Job Search Tips, my Marketing Tips and Diet Tips.  I am also going to weekly ensure that my webpage is updated.

This time next week there should, make that will, be another post, so help keep me on track.  Check in with me...comment on my blog. 

Till next time

Fran
http://www.franwatson.ca/bio.html

Illusions of Limitations

This video was sent to me today. I wanted to share it with you.

May it touch your life.

Fran

Holiday Stress Busters

This time of year is a busy one for most of us.  Christmas is fast approaching and there is still so much to be done - buying presents, wrapping presents, setting up the tree, decorating the house, company parties, house parties, cleaning the house for company, etc., etc., etc.

Here is an article I found on how to be a little less stressed this season.  Hope you enjoy it.

Fran Watson
www.franwatson.ca

HOLIDAY STRESS BUSTERS

By: Dr. Donald E. Wetmore

The holidays are a time for great joy for some, and a time of stress and frustration for others. None of us should be denied the joys of the holiday season and so I have put together the following seven suggestions to help you "bust" the holiday stresses and enjoy this time more.

1. Plan ahead. We know well in advance, (like a year before), that the holidays will require a lot more of our time for special preparations in addition to our regular routines and responsibilities. However, many of us get caught short, in crisis management, running around at the "eleventh hour", trying to get the last minute stuff done, feeling a bit (or a lot) stressed out. The solution is to plan ahead and schedule these tasks and events with greater care. It always seems to get done sooner or later. Why not sooner, at your pace, without so much of the hassle?

2. Delegate. There is a lot of difference between "I do it" and "It gets done". Which is more important to you? I hope, "It gets done". Sure it's fun to "do it all", but that may be an impractical goal that only serves to frazzle and stress you out. Share the shopping, cooking, cleaning, etc. responsibilities with others. You don't have to "do it all" yourself. It would be nice if we could, but there is only so much time. And people generally appreciate the opportunity to participate in the preparations. "You don't always do for someone when you always do for someone."

3. Get enough sleep. During the holidays, with all there is to do, the parties, the preparations, the shopping, the wrapping, and the cooking, it is easy to pay for the additional time required with our sleep time. The problem for many is that when they don't get enough sleep, they get cranky and don't enjoy what they are doing as much. Not only that, they may not exactly be a pleasure to be around! Each of us has a different sleep level that we require to feel rested. Especially during the busy holiday period, take the time for adequate sleep so that you have the energy to get into the full swing of things and enjoy it as it happens.

4. Don't overindulge. Anything in moderation. The holidays are a time when it is easy to overindulge in what we eat and drink. The problem is, we pay for it later and sometimes sooner. A little advanced planning might help as well. For example, let's say you know that you always accumulate an additional five pounds over the holidays. Make it a point to drop five pounds before the holiday season. Many find it is easier and less stressful to lose that additional weight before, rather than after, the holidays.

5. Set a financial budget and stick to it. We tend to want to be generous and when shopping, it is easy to fall prey to "impulse buying" and "go all out" with the credit cards. Then, we experience the "post holiday blues", when the bills arrive in January. Plan what you will spend before you go to the stores, when you are rational, and then stick to those budget amounts when you are in the stores, when you are more emotional.

6. Don't overload this time period. KISS. "Keep it Simple…" This is not the last holiday period you will enjoy. You can't do everything but you can do and enjoy the most important things. Sure you will do more now than at other times during the year. Have a grand time, a memorable holiday season. Just don't try to "do it all". Save something for next year.

7. Enjoy the journey, not just the destination. Don't "dread" any part of it, the shopping, the wrapping, the cooking, the cleaning, etc. Find happiness in all of it. Enjoy it all. Some place all their eggs in one basket. If all the celebration and the joy are scheduled for that one night, perhaps Christmas Eve, what happens if it's a disappointment? The whole season is a bust. Enjoy all the stuff leading up to the "big night" and enhance the quality and your level of enjoyment of the entire season.

If this article has been useful to you, we have prepared an additional article entitled, "The Tools for Increasing Employees’ Productivity". It’s free. To get yours, email your request for "tools" to:ctsem@msn.com

Would you like to receive free Timely Time Management Tips on a regular basis to increase your personal productivity and get more out of every day? Sign up now for our free "TIME MANAGEMENT DISCUSSION LIST". Just go to: http://www.topica.com/lists/timemanagement and select "subscribe". We welcome you aboard!

Dr. Donald E. Wetmore-Professional Speaker
Productivity Institute-Time Management Seminars
60 Huntington St. P.O. Box 2126
Shelton, CT 06484
(800) 969-3773
(203) 386-8062
fax: (203) 386-8064
Email: ctsem@msn.com
website: http://www.balancetime.com
Professional Member-National Speakers Association
August 23, 1999

Copyright 1999 You may re-print the above information in its entirety in your publication, newsletter, or on your webpage. For permission, please email your request for "reprint" to: ctsem@msn.com

Valuing Minutes

Yesterday I attended an online conference with Janet Legere and she talked about segmented intention. Paying attention to what you are doing and intending it to be successful.

This morning I pulled my daily quote from my tin and it said, "With this dawn, this new day, I value each minute."

I was taken back to my recent Time Management Workshop where I shared with the participants the value of time - 1440 minutes in a day.

Wasting 15 minutes a day works out to 91 hours per year. What could you do with those 91 hours?

If we read an average of 12 pages a day (about 15 minutes) we could read 17-18 books per year. We can learn a new task, become an expert in our field of study, or upgrade our education.

We could exercise and stay in shape while tuning up our heart. 15 minutes 3 times a week will maintain a healthy body.

We could spend the time in personal meditation or spiritual contemplation to bring balance to our lives.

We could devote 15 minutes of quality time to someone we care about. We could choose a different person each day. We could write a letter, send a card, make a phone call or a personal visit. We could sit down with someone and ask them a question and really listen to their answer.

Take a few minutes to think about how you spend your time and how you could spend it better.

Do some tasks that take only 5-15 minutes and feel good about having accomplished something.

Plan your day to include small tasks as well as large tasks, write down what you intend to accomplish - you will have a much better chance of succeeding.

To your successful day!!

Fran

BANABU!

What's Happening?

Hi

I hadn't realized how long it had been since I had posted until today. Since April I was involved in a local event - The Diversity Festival- which was held on July 7th and involved people from all walks of life - health and beauty, massage, cultures, United Way, local vendors, animal rescue, immigration, alternative lifestyles - wow, it was amazing. We had a day in the park and two performances of Dragon's Breath. I was in both and also in the one we did in Almonte in May. It took a lot of my time but it was energizing and satisfying, and it was Building A New And Better Universe for many!

I recently began to listen to Mike's material again and I will soon be able to offer some of it to my blog readers. If you are interested, please leave a comment below. In particular I have been relistening to Mike's 11 Principles. I will be posting some of my thoughts over the next few weeks.

Hope to see you here again soon.

Fran
BANABU

Inspirational THoughts

How many times have you had a thought about contacting someone, but didn't follow through?

I read a post this morning about someone who had a good friend that she had lost touch with and then had the chance to reconnect with, but then found out the friend had cancer. She thought about writing a card to say how much she appreciated her friendship, but just couldn't seem to get started...and then it was too late, her friend was gone.

How many times have you held on to something saying, "I'm keeping it for something special." You may have read a story about a husband finding a beautiful red slip in his wife's lingerie drawer that she was saving for "just the right time", but now she was gone.

Too often we let the moments pass, the moments that can change not only our life, but the life of the person we share with. Too often we let our busyness get in the way of reaching out and touching someone.

As I sit here typing this, I am reminded of my good neighbour down the road who is 96 and in failing health. Why am I not down there visiting her instead of sitting at my computer? Why not, indeed. I think I will call her up and see if she feels like a visit from me. I could certainly use a visit with her.

Stop and think for a moment....who do you need to reach out to right now?

Now, do it.

Fran

Are You Living Your Life On Purpose?

TOOLS FOR LIVING TRUE TO YOUR LIFE PURPOSE
Life On Purpose Institute, Inc. 2001

PURPOSE PRACTICES: An activity that is engaged in on a regular basis that has the person be present to and aware of their life purpose.

PURPOSE PONDERINGS: A question that is posed each day that presences the person's life purpose while they 'ponder' it.

PURPOSEFUL PLAY: Working on a project, goal, or task in such a way that you're willing to play and experiment with it while having a particular plan or intention. The secret to purposeful play is being committed to a particular result or outcome without being attached to that outcome.

There are 3 important parts to this tool for living on purpose:
1. The experience or way of being you enter into a project, goal or task. In purposeful play you're ready to experiment, to explore and to discover -- there's a lightness and playfulness.
2. At the same time, your actions are not random but are guided by an intention or purpose.
3. Last of all, the freedom to be playful comes from staying committed to the project, goal or task without getting attached to the results.

PURPOSE PROJECTS: A set of actions with specific results that are measurable that is a natural expression of one's life purpose. While working to fulfill the project, the person is more alive and aware of their life purpose.

LIFE PURPOSE COACHING: A generative conversation that supports a person in clarifying their life purpose as well as providing a structure for them to live true to their purpose over time. Individual life purpose coaching is available through Life On Purpose Institute.

PURPOSE POD: A group of like-minded people meeting on a regular basis to assist each other in clarifying their life purpose and living true to it. Purpose pods may meet in person, through teleconferencing or online through 'chat-sessions.'

PURPOSE PRAYER: A type of purpose passage, a purpose prayer is a longer passage that includes your life purpose that you say with passion and as a created declaration of who you intend to be that day.

PURPOSE PLATITUDE: A platitude is defined as a banal, trite or stale remark. And that's what your created life purpose statement will turn into if you don't keep it fresh, alive and flourishing in awareness and consciousness.

PURPOSE PARTNERS: People who know you and relate to you as your created life purpose. The more purpose partners you have the easier it is to stay true to your created purpose.

PURPOSE PARADOXES: Not so much a tool as what you can expect to 'bump' into along the way as you live true to your purpose. The more comfortable you can become with purpose paradoxes the more powerful you will be able to live your life purpose. As Gregg Levoy says in his book, Callings: Living the Authentic Life: "Heroism can be redefined for our age as the ability to tolerate paradox, to embrace seemingly opposing forces without rejecting one or the other just for the sheer relief of it."

One of my favorite purpose paradox that is particularly useful with Purpose Projects is found in purposeful play -- playing full out with an intention, purpose and often specific results in mind, while at the same time staying unattached whether those intentions or results are actually produced.

PURPOSE PIVOTING: A purpose pivot is the act of distinguishing when your inherited purpose is shaping your life, and the choosing to have your created life purpose shape your life instead. Once you've distinguished your inherited purpose and your created life purpose, it's possible to stay on purpose by pivoting. Whenever you notice your inherited purpose beginning to shape your life, you can stop the action for the moment, distinguish what is happening and then begin to pivot to your created life purpose. The more you practice pivoting the better you'll get, and the earlier you can detect your inherited purpose, the easier it will be to pivot as well.

PURPOSEFUL POW-WOWS: During a purposeful pow-wow, you consciously take time in your day to focus on your created life purpose and what you want to create in your life as an expression of your purpose. During a purpose pow-wow, you align your thought, feelings and emotions to powerfully and energetically attract the resources needed to continue to live and express your purpose. Then you maintain your thoughts, and feelings as you take action throughout the day.

ON PURPOSE & OFF PURPOSE PATTERNS: We are all creatures of habits and patterns. Some of our patterns are on purpose -- consistent with our created life purpose -- and some are off purpose -- consistent with our inherited purpose. It is possible and highly recommended to distinguish your off purpose patterns and begin to release them as you create new on purpose patterns in your life.

To Living Your Life On Purpose!

Fran

P.S. For some help in living a purposeful life: Click here

Getting Real!!

Today's focus in the 8 step personal development series is Getting Real!

You do not have to be anybody other than your authentic self. This does not mean wearing your favorite worn out jeans or yoga pants to the next corporate meeting. What this does mean ...

March to the beat of your own drum whenever you can!

You are unique.

You are a miracle.

You are a graceful creator.

You matter.

Your true path may never be revealed if you spend your life behaving like you "should".

"Well behaved women rarely make history." - Louisa May Alcott

Why on Earth would you spend your life doing things over and over that you have no interest in, or continue in a career or relationship that is no longer fulfilling? If your answer is security, think again...

It's never too soon, nor too late to discover your passion and live your life on your own terms.

Years ago my mentor coach asked me to work on a creative project to identify what kind of a professional coach I wanted to be.

The mission... Create a simple picture of ME in my element, surrounded by all of the props and things that light me up as woman. A brand new box of crayons and a short time later, "Super Shann" was created.

You might begin with a comparison and contrast of the person you are at work and the person you are at home with friends and family. Which person is more authentic?

There is no need to be an experienced artist. Just get started and have fun with the process.
Check out my rendition of "Super Shann" a fun picture illustrating this creative idea.

Groovy Action Plan

What do you enjoy the most about your career / business / job?

What are you truly passionate about?

Can you surround yourself with more inspiration?

Draw a fun and vibrant picture of your authentic self, who you are under all of the layers of who you "should" be.

Feeling brave and silly? Email me your picture and I'll post it on the True Balance Life Coaching blog.

Next up ... What Makes You Tick?


Although this material is subject to copyright, you may reprint this publication, in whole or in part, in your company publication, in training, presentations, or wherever you feel it would be of benefit. This also holds true for members of the media. All I ask is that you include the following: Reprinted with permission from Shann Vander Leek, True Balance Life Coaching, LLC. www.truebalancelifecoaching.com


I hope you enjoyed this. You can sign up for your own free e-course.

Fran Watson