Building A New And Better (YO)U

"Who's the Boss?" 10 ways to start taking control (time management, goal setting, record tracking)

At first glance, it would seem that positive thinking and Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD) have nothing to do with one another. But many people with ADD develop negative thinking patterns because we become frustrated by our challenges and frequent feelings of being overwhelmed. This negative outlook then makes it even harder to manage those challenges and move forward.

Practicing positive thinking allows people with ADD to focus on strengths and accomplishments, which increases happiness and motivation. This, in turn, allows more time for making progress, and less time feeling down and stuck. The following tips provide some practical suggestions that you can use to help you shift into more positive thinking patterns:

1. Take Good Care of Yourself
It's much easier to be positive when you are eating well, exercising, and getting enough rest.

2. Remind Yourself of the Things You Are Grateful For
Stresses and challenges don't seem quite as bad when you are constantly reminding yourself of the things that are right in life. Taking just 60 seconds a day to stop and appreciate the good things will make a huge difference.

3. Look for the Proof Instead of Making Assumptions
A fear of not being liked or accepted sometimes leads us to assume that we know what others are thinking, but our fears are usually not reality. If you have a fear that a friend or family member's bad mood is due to something you did, or that your co-workers are secretly gossiping about you when you turn your back, speak up and ask them. Don't waste time worrying that you did something wrong unless you have proof that there is something to worry about.

4. Refrain from Using Absolutes
Have you ever told a partner "You're ALWAYS late!" or complained to a friend "You NEVER call me!"? Thinking and speaking in absolutes like 'always' and 'never' makes the situation seem worse than it is, and programs your brain into believing that certain people are incapable of delivering.

5. Detach From Negative Thoughts
Your thoughts can't hold any power over you if you don't judge them. If you notice yourself having a negative thought, detach from it, witness it, and don't follow it.

6. Squash the "ANTs"
In his book "Change Your Brain, Change Your Life," Dr. Daniel Amen talks about "ANTs" - Automatic Negative Thoughts. These are the bad thoughts that are usually reactionary, like "Those people are laughing, they must be talking about me," or "The boss wants to see me? It must be bad!" When you notice these thoughts, realize that they are nothing more than ANTs and squash them!

7. Practice Lovin', Touchin' & Squeezin' (Your Friends and Family)
You don't have to be an expert to know the benefits of a good hug. Positive physical contact with friends, loved ones, and even pets, is an instant pick-me-up. One research study on this subject had a waitress touch some of her customers on the arm as she handed them their checks. She received higher tips from these customers than from the ones she didn't touch!

8. Increase Your Social Activity
By increasing social activity, you decrease loneliness. Surround yourself with healthy, happy people, and their positive energy will affect you in a positive way!

9. Volunteer for an Organization, or Help another Person
Everyone feels good after helping. You can volunteer your time, your money, or your resources. The more positive energy you put out into the world, the more you will receive in return.

10. Use Pattern Interrupts to Combat Rumination
If you find yourself ruminating on the negatives in your life, a great way to stop it is to interrupt the pattern and force yourself to do something completely different. Rumination is like hyper-focus on something negative. It's never productive, because it's not rational or solution-oriented, it's just excessive worry. Try changing your physical environment - go for a walk or sit outside. You could also call a friend, pick up a book, or turn on some music.

BANABU - To Building A New And Better Universe - A New And Better (YO)U

Fran Watson

Ten Commandments of Human Relations

1.      Speak to people.  There is nothing as nice as a cheerful word.

2.      Smile at people.  It takes 72 muscles to frown, only 14 to smile.

3.      Call people by name.  The sweetest music to anyone’s ears is the sound of his/her  name.

4.      Be friendly and helpful.  If you would have friends, be friendly.

5.      Be cordial.  Speak and act as if everything you do were a pleasure.

6.      Be genuinely interested in people.  You can like every body if you try.

7.      Be generous with praise – cautious with criticism.

8.      Be considerate with the feelings of others – it s appreciated.,

9.      Be thoughtful of the opinions of others – there are three sides to a controversy – yours, the other person’s and the right one.

10.  Be alert to give service.  What counts most in life is what we do for others.

Be kind to one another

Fran Watson

Weeds or Flowers?

This afternoon I had a chance to get back out into my garden for a few minutes.  I was enjoying the beautiful flowers, but I noticed how quickly the weeds had grown up and how they were trying to take over the garden.  As I pulled them out I thought about how much like life this is. 

We "plant" beautiful deeds in our lives and we go along for a little while quite comfortably but then we notice that some "weeds" have sprung up.  Perhaps someone said something and your feelings were hurt.  Perhaps you said something to someone that you now regret.  Perhaps you didn't get the job you wanted, the project you were hoping for, the raise you expected and the niggling doubts (weeds) started taking over. 

It doesn't take long for the negativity to set in after that and unless you get rid of those weeds quickly they can take over and you  begin to feel some signs of depression.  You may wake up in the morning and not want to get out of bed.  You may not want to get out and socialize with your friends.  You may sit around your house moping.

It is important to deal with those "weeds" as soon as they start.  It is much easier to pluck them when they are small rather than wait until they have grown and firmly implanted themselves in the garden. 

Unfortunately for me today, it had been a long time since I was able to get in the garden due to weather and my schedule so many of those weeds were quite firmly implanted and it is going to take more than one session to get rid of them.  It is the same with the "weeds" in our life. 

It takes approximately 3 weeks to make or break a habit, so if the weeds are firmly implanted in your life, it will take more than a single effort to get rid of them.  It will take conscious, repeated efforts to get rid of them and restore your life garden to a state of beauty.

BANABU

To having a beautiful Life Garden

Fran Watson

How Are You Doing?

Every time I log into Facebook, it asks me "What's on your mind?"  I wonder why they want to know, are they really interested in who I am and what I am thinking about or are they just trying to figure out how they can market to me?

Have you ever felt that when people ask the question, "How are you doing?" they are just waiting to tell you how they are doing, but they want to be polite and ask you first? 

It seems to me that it happens more and more often.  People also ask the question as they pass you on the street, but they really don't expect you to stop and tell them.  "Hi, how are you doing?" they say as they walk on by.  I sometimes wonder what would happen if you stopped and said, "Actually, I'm not doing very well.  I had this (operation/accident/event) happen and ......"  Can't you just picture them squirming and wanting to get away?

How many times have you asked the question and not waited for the answer?  Or just expected someone to say "great, how are you?" as they pass on by. 

Well, today, I want to really ask you... "How are you doing?"  Are things going well in your life?  Do you need a little help or support?  A listening ear?  If so, post a message below or send me an email.  I will take the time to listen and respond to you.

Have a great day!!

Fran Watson

Time Management and Goals

I have been having conversations with people lately about Goal Setting and Time Management.  Everyone says they don't have enough time to set goals or to accomplish tasks, but the truth is unless you set the goals you will NEVER find the time to complete them.  You see you can't really manage time, you can only manage you.

Do you really know what you spend your time on each day?  Have you ever taken the time to really look at what you do?  How long does it take you to make and eat your breakfast each day?  Do you read the paper while you eat?  How long does that take?  Do you sit and wait for the coffee to perc or do you do other things while it is percolating?  What about lunch?  Do you eat on the go?  Eat at your desk?  Go out for lunch?  Again, how long does it take? 

Have you ever sat down to watch ONE program and found yourself still sitting on the couch 3 hours later?  That's because you didn't have a goal, something else you wanted to accomplish that night.  If you had, you would have made a decision about whether or not you would even watch the one program, or would you work on a task towards completing your goal.

Do you have a goal you want to achieve?  Other than, "I want to be rich and retire."  Do you know the exact amount you want to make, the exact amount you would need to retire comfortably, taking into account inflation and what activities you want to do when you retire.  Have you written your goal down?  Have you begun your yearly, monthly, weekly, daily plan on how you are going to accomplish it?  Studies have shown that if you WRITE down your goal and put it somewhere where you will see it every day, you have a better chance of achieving it.  If you write it down and set out a plan on how you will achieve it, you are well on your way.

Think about it....A multi-millionaire has the same number of hours in the day as you do, they just do different things with it.  You will probably not find them sitting on the couch in their living room watching hour after hour of TV.  You will probably find them getting together with people who can help them with their goals.

What do you want to accomplish?  Start today by taking a look at how you spend your time and see where you can make some time to work on YOUR GOALS.  If you would like a time log to record your time for the next week,  send me an email (franlwatson (at) gmail.com) with the subject line "TIME LOG" and I will send you a copy. 

It takes time and effort to achieve a goal, but it is always worth it.  Start small, reward yourself for accomplishing tasks, but START.

Have a great day!!!

Fran Watson
BANABU

Missing....

I MISS THESE THINGS

 

Go back now...........

Close your eyes.....And go back....
Before the Internet or the MAC,
Before semi automatics and crack
Before SEGA or Super Nintendo
 

Way back........

 
I'm talking bout hide and go seek at dusk.
Sitting on the porch, Hot bread and butter.
The Good Humour man,
Red light, Green light.

Chocolate milk,

Lunch tickets,
Penny candy in a brown paper bag.

Playing Pinball in the corner store.

Hopscotch, butterscotch, doubledutch

Jacks, kickball, dodgeball, y'all!

Mother May I?

Red Rover and Roly Poly

Hula Hoops and Sunflower Seeds,

Jolly Ranchers, Banana Splits
Wax Lips and Mustaches

Running through the sprinkler

The smell of the sun and lickin' salty lips....

Wait......

Watchin' Saturday Morning cartoons, Fat Albert,

Road Runner, He-Man, The Three Stooges, and Bugs,

Or back further, listening to Superman on the radio

Catchin' lightening bugs in a jar,
Playin sling shot.

When around the corner seemed far away,

And going downtown seemed like going somewhere.

Bedtime, Climbing trees,

An ice cream cone on a warm summer night
Chocolate or vanilla or strawberry or maybe butter pecan
A lemon coke from the fountain at the corner drug store

A million mosquito bites and sticky fingers,

Cops and Robbers, Cowboys and Indians,
Sittin on the curb,

Jumpin down the steps,

Jumpin on the bed.
Pillow fights

Runnin till you were out of breath

Laughing so hard that your stomach hurt

Being tired from playin'.... Remember that?

I ain't finished just yet...

Eating Kool-aid powder with sugar

........Remember when...

When there were two types of sneakers for girls and boys (Keds & PF Flyers) and the only time you wore

them at school, was for "gym."

When it took five minutes for the TV to warm up, if you even had one.
When nearly everyone's Mom was at home when the kids got there.
When nobody owned a purebred dog

When a quarter was a decent allowance, and another quarter a miracle.

When milk went up one cent and everyone talked about it for weeks?

When you'd reach into a muddy gutter for a penny.

When girls neither dated nor kissed until late high school, if then.

When your Mom wore nylons that came in two pieces.
When all of your male teachers wore neckties and female teachers had their hair done, everyday.

When you got your windshield cleaned, oil checked, and gas pumped, without asking, for free, every time. And, you didn't pay for air. And, you got trading stamps to boot!

When laundry detergent had free glasses, dishes or towels hidden inside the box.

When any parent could discipline any kid, or feed him or use him to carry groceries, and nobody, not

even the kid, thought a thing of it.

When it was considered a great privilege to be taken out to dinner at a real restaurant with your

parents.

When they threatened to keep kids back a grade if they failed ... and did!

When being sent to the principal's office was nothing compared to the fate that awaited a misbehaving student at home.  Basically, we were in fear for our lives but it wasn't because of drive by shootings, drugs, gangs, etc.

Our parents and grandparents were a much bigger threat! And some of us are still afraid of em!!!

Didn't that feel good.. Just to go back and say, Yeah, I remember that!

There's nothing like the good old days! They were good then, and they're good now when we think about

them.

Share some of these thoughts with a friend who can relate, then share it with someone that missed out on them.

 

Sometimes I think our life would be so much better if we could go back to these days.  There is so much anger and killing in our world.  People have not learned good ways to deal with their unhappiness other than lashing out at others.  Many people don't have the words to recognize and/or express how they feel so they react in anger.

 

To simpler and happier times in your life

All the best

 

Fran Watson

Being Mindful

1. Do one thing at a time. Single-task, don’t multi-task. When you’re pouring water, just pour water. When you’re eating, just eat. When you’re bathing, just bathe. Don’t try to knock off a few tasks while eating or bathing or driving. Zen proverb: “When walking, walk. When eating, eat.”

2. Do it slowly and deliberately. You can do one task at a time, but also rush that task. Instead, take your time, and move slowly. Make your actions deliberate, not rushed and random. It takes practice, but it helps you focus on the task.

3. Do less. If you do less, you can do those things more slowly, more completely and with more concentration. If you fill your day with tasks, you will be rushing from one thing to the next without stopping to think about what you do. But you’re busy and you can’t possibly do less, right? You can. I’ve done it, and so have many busy people. It’s a matter of figuring out what’s important, and letting go of what’s not. Read more: TheLazy Manifesto: Do Less.

4. Put space between things. Related to the “Do less” rule, but it’s a way of managing your schedule so that you always have time to complete each task. Don’t schedule things close together — instead, leave room between things on your schedule. That gives you a more relaxed schedule, and leaves space in case one task takes longer than you planned.

5. Spend at least 5 minutes each day doing nothing. Just sit in silence. Become aware of your thoughts. Focus on your breathing. Notice the world around you. Become comfortable with the silence and stillness. It’ll do you a world of good — and just takes 5 minutes!

6. Stop worrying about the future – focus on the present. Become more aware of your thinking — are you constantly worrying about the future? Learn to recognize when you’re doing this, and then practice bringing yourself back to the present. Just focus on what you’re doing, right now. Enjoy the present moment.

7. When you’re talking to someone, be present. How many of us have spent time with someone but have been thinking about what we need to do in the future? Or thinking about what we want to say next, instead of really listening to that person? Instead, focus on being present, on really listening, on really enjoying your time with that person.

8. Eat slowly and savor your food. Food can be crammed down our throats in a rush, but where’s the joy in that? Savor each bite, slowly, and really get the most out of your food. Interestingly, you’ll eat less this way, and digest your food better as well.

9. Live slowly and savor your life. Just as you would savor your food by eating it more slowly, do everything this way — slow down and savor each and every moment.

10. Make cleaning and cooking become meditation. Cooking and cleaning are often seen as drudgery, but actually they are both great ways to practice mindfulness, and can be great rituals performed each day. If cooking and cleaning seem like boring chores to you, try doing them as a form of meditation. Put your entire mind into those tasks, concentrate, and do them slowly and completely. It could change your entire day (as well as leave you with a cleaner house).

11. Keep practicing. When you get frustrated, just take a deep breath. When you ask yourself, “What should I do now, Self?”, the answer is “keep practicing”.

“When you drive around the city and come to a red light or a stop sign, you can just sit back and make use of these twenty or thirty seconds to relax — to breathe in, breathe out, and enjoy arriving in the present moment. There are many things like that we can do.” - Thich Nhat Hanh

 

BANABU!

 

Fran Watson