Don't Worry...Be Happy

Genuine Happiness Comes from Within

Sometimes, when we feel like the world is just too heavy, we look around and find people who continued to live fascinating and wonderful lives. And then thoughts come popping into our minds like bubbles from nowhere – “How did their life become so adorably sweet? How come they still can manage to laugh and play around despite a busy stressful life?” 

As we pause and observe for awhile we may realize that they started to work on a place called ‘self’.

So, how does one become genuinely happy? Step 1 is to love yourself.

A theology professor once said that “loving means accepting.”  To love oneself means to accept that you are not a perfect being, but behind the imperfections must lie a great ounce of courage to be able to discover ways on how to improve our repertoire to recover from our mistakes.

Genuine happiness also pertains to contentment. When you are contented with the job you have, the way you look, with your family, your friends, the place you live in, your car, and all the things you now have – truly, you know the answer to the question “how to be genuinely happy.”

When we begin to discover a small start somewhere from within, that small start will eventually lead to something else, and to something else. But if you keep questioning life like  and looking for the negative in everything, you will never be able to find genuine happiness.

I believe that life is about finding out about trying and failing, wining and losing, right and wrong. These are things that happen as often as you inhale and exhale. Failure in a person’s life has become as abundant and necessary as air. But this should not hinder us from becoming happy.

You may be at a down point in your life at the moment and wonder, how can we be genuinely happy in spite all these?

Take one step at a time.

Every time you exert an effort to improve the quality of life and your being, whether it is cleaning up your room, helping a friend, taking care of your sick dog, failing on board exams and trying again, life gives you equivalent points for that.

Imagine life as a big score board like those which are used in the NFLs. Every time you take a step forward, you make scoring points. Wouldn’t it be nice to look at that board at the end of each game and think to yourself “Whew! I got a point today. I’m glad I gave it a shot.”, instead of looking at it all blank and murmur “Geez, I didn’t even hit a score today. I wish I had the guts to try out. We could have won!” and then walk away.

Genuine happiness isn’t about driving the hottest Formula 1 car, nor getting the employee of the year award, earning the highest 13th month pay, or beating the sales quota. Sometimes, the most sought after prizes in life don’t always go to the fastest, the strongest, the bravest or not even the best.

So, how do you become genuinely happy? 

Every one has their own definition of ‘happiness’. Happiness for a writer may mean launching a best selling book. Happiness for a basketball rookie may mean getting the rookie of the year award. Happiness for a beggar may mean finding a lot of money. Happiness for a business man may mean corporate success.

So, really now, how do we become genuinely happy? Simple. Its about doing and making the best out of every single thing. You don’t have to have the best things in this world. When you find yourself smiling at your own mistake and telling your self “Oh, I’ll do better next time”, your willingness to stand up again and try – that will make you a genuinely happy person.

When you learn to accept yourself and your own faults. You pass step 1 in the project “how to become genuinely happy”.

Love and accept others as you love yourself.  Laugh at your foibles.  Be empathetic and kind to others.  Do something for someone else and do something for yourself.  Don't give so much away that you have nothing left for you.  It takes courage to be happy.  Be of good courage.

BANABU

Fran Watson

Building A New And Better (YO)U

"Who's the Boss?" 10 ways to start taking control (time management, goal setting, record tracking)

At first glance, it would seem that positive thinking and Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD) have nothing to do with one another. But many people with ADD develop negative thinking patterns because we become frustrated by our challenges and frequent feelings of being overwhelmed. This negative outlook then makes it even harder to manage those challenges and move forward.

Practicing positive thinking allows people with ADD to focus on strengths and accomplishments, which increases happiness and motivation. This, in turn, allows more time for making progress, and less time feeling down and stuck. The following tips provide some practical suggestions that you can use to help you shift into more positive thinking patterns:

1. Take Good Care of Yourself
It's much easier to be positive when you are eating well, exercising, and getting enough rest.

2. Remind Yourself of the Things You Are Grateful For
Stresses and challenges don't seem quite as bad when you are constantly reminding yourself of the things that are right in life. Taking just 60 seconds a day to stop and appreciate the good things will make a huge difference.

3. Look for the Proof Instead of Making Assumptions
A fear of not being liked or accepted sometimes leads us to assume that we know what others are thinking, but our fears are usually not reality. If you have a fear that a friend or family member's bad mood is due to something you did, or that your co-workers are secretly gossiping about you when you turn your back, speak up and ask them. Don't waste time worrying that you did something wrong unless you have proof that there is something to worry about.

4. Refrain from Using Absolutes
Have you ever told a partner "You're ALWAYS late!" or complained to a friend "You NEVER call me!"? Thinking and speaking in absolutes like 'always' and 'never' makes the situation seem worse than it is, and programs your brain into believing that certain people are incapable of delivering.

5. Detach From Negative Thoughts
Your thoughts can't hold any power over you if you don't judge them. If you notice yourself having a negative thought, detach from it, witness it, and don't follow it.

6. Squash the "ANTs"
In his book "Change Your Brain, Change Your Life," Dr. Daniel Amen talks about "ANTs" - Automatic Negative Thoughts. These are the bad thoughts that are usually reactionary, like "Those people are laughing, they must be talking about me," or "The boss wants to see me? It must be bad!" When you notice these thoughts, realize that they are nothing more than ANTs and squash them!

7. Practice Lovin', Touchin' & Squeezin' (Your Friends and Family)
You don't have to be an expert to know the benefits of a good hug. Positive physical contact with friends, loved ones, and even pets, is an instant pick-me-up. One research study on this subject had a waitress touch some of her customers on the arm as she handed them their checks. She received higher tips from these customers than from the ones she didn't touch!

8. Increase Your Social Activity
By increasing social activity, you decrease loneliness. Surround yourself with healthy, happy people, and their positive energy will affect you in a positive way!

9. Volunteer for an Organization, or Help another Person
Everyone feels good after helping. You can volunteer your time, your money, or your resources. The more positive energy you put out into the world, the more you will receive in return.

10. Use Pattern Interrupts to Combat Rumination
If you find yourself ruminating on the negatives in your life, a great way to stop it is to interrupt the pattern and force yourself to do something completely different. Rumination is like hyper-focus on something negative. It's never productive, because it's not rational or solution-oriented, it's just excessive worry. Try changing your physical environment - go for a walk or sit outside. You could also call a friend, pick up a book, or turn on some music.

BANABU - To Building A New And Better Universe - A New And Better (YO)U

Fran Watson

Ten Commandments of Human Relations

1.      Speak to people.  There is nothing as nice as a cheerful word.

2.      Smile at people.  It takes 72 muscles to frown, only 14 to smile.

3.      Call people by name.  The sweetest music to anyone’s ears is the sound of his/her  name.

4.      Be friendly and helpful.  If you would have friends, be friendly.

5.      Be cordial.  Speak and act as if everything you do were a pleasure.

6.      Be genuinely interested in people.  You can like every body if you try.

7.      Be generous with praise – cautious with criticism.

8.      Be considerate with the feelings of others – it s appreciated.,

9.      Be thoughtful of the opinions of others – there are three sides to a controversy – yours, the other person’s and the right one.

10.  Be alert to give service.  What counts most in life is what we do for others.

Be kind to one another

Fran Watson

How Are You Doing?

Every time I log into Facebook, it asks me "What's on your mind?"  I wonder why they want to know, are they really interested in who I am and what I am thinking about or are they just trying to figure out how they can market to me?

Have you ever felt that when people ask the question, "How are you doing?" they are just waiting to tell you how they are doing, but they want to be polite and ask you first? 

It seems to me that it happens more and more often.  People also ask the question as they pass you on the street, but they really don't expect you to stop and tell them.  "Hi, how are you doing?" they say as they walk on by.  I sometimes wonder what would happen if you stopped and said, "Actually, I'm not doing very well.  I had this (operation/accident/event) happen and ......"  Can't you just picture them squirming and wanting to get away?

How many times have you asked the question and not waited for the answer?  Or just expected someone to say "great, how are you?" as they pass on by. 

Well, today, I want to really ask you... "How are you doing?"  Are things going well in your life?  Do you need a little help or support?  A listening ear?  If so, post a message below or send me an email.  I will take the time to listen and respond to you.

Have a great day!!

Fran Watson

Life has a way of getting in the way

Have you ever noticed that?

You have good intentions, you have a goal in mind, but something gets in the way.  You lose focus, your goal seems to have drifted off into the clouds.  Why? 

Because you didn't have a plan.

Your goal is in the clouds because you didn't determine the steps needed to reach it and so it began to slip away.

Has this happened to you recently?  It happened to me. 

I started this year full of expectations and ideas of things I wanted to accomplish, and here it is 3 months later and this is the first blog post I have made in 3 months.  It doesn't mean that I haven't been busy pursuing some of my goals, because I have.  I have been doing workshops on Time Management and Communication and Conflict Resolution.  I have been giving presentations at my Toastmasters Clubs, but, my goal to post weekly updates on my blog.... well, I didn't set an action plan in place and here I am.

Today I am determining to do better.  I am going to write down in my Day Timer a schedule for my blogs - for this blog - BANABU, for my Job Search Tips, my Marketing Tips and Diet Tips.  I am also going to weekly ensure that my webpage is updated.

This time next week there should, make that will, be another post, so help keep me on track.  Check in with me...comment on my blog. 

Till next time

Fran
http://www.franwatson.ca/bio.html

Attract Unlimited Success

7 Laws of Attraction to Attract Unlimited Success
By Michael Lee

Of the laws that govern the universe, the most powerful is the universal law of attraction, which simply states that whatever you put out into the world, the same will return to you. Furthermore, there are 7 Laws of Attraction that define every aspect of this phenomenon. These laws are the ultimate keys to your success. Here are the 7 Laws of Attraction and how they can help change your life for the better:   1. The Law of Manifestation   Your consciousness plays a huge part in the creation of your desired state. It is the architect laying out the blueprint for your success. Every detail is scrutinized by a meticulous eye, designing only what is best and correcting any irregularities in the grand plan. If it is not worthwhile or does not enrich your life, it must be abandoned in favor of an honorable pursuit. Focus on what's truly important, and your deepest desires will manifest themselves to you.   2. The Law of Unwavering Desire If you want something so purely and completely and you believe with all your heart that you deserve it, that you must have it, then you can only be sending out the right vibrations for the universe to receive and send back to you. Let no fear or doubts hold you back.   3. The Law of Delicate Balance Desperation is a negative emotion; and when you are desperate to have something, you may be sending out the wrong signals. It may seem like a contradiction to Law # 2, where desiring is beneficial to the attraction of positive energy towards yourself; but these 2 cases are different. You must strike a delicate balance between the dream you hope to come true, and living contentedly in the moment. Do not make your goal the singular object of your desire that you neglect all other aspects of your life. Just know that it will happen in time and that, while waiting, you need not be so despondent.   4. The Law of Magnetism In school we were taught that opposite poles attract and like poles repel each other. Not so in this case. Energy is as pervasive as air. It is all around us, even within us, and we ourselves radiate energy, though often we aren't even aware of it. But what we must know is that whatever kind of energy we emit-whether positive or negative-is the same kind we attract as it returns to us from the universe. What goes around comes around, as the saying goes.   5. The Law of Synchronization The universe has much to offer in terms of gifts and gains. These fruits are yours for the taking, if you but align yourself and be in close harmony with the 'Giver.' Do not fight the flow or resist the order of things. You are part of a greater whole, not a separate entity; to throw yourself into this realm and bask in it is not only a duty but a birthright.   6. The Law of Universal Influence Do not take the tiniest of actions for granted. Even the most seemingly harmless of deeds can have influence, for we are all connected and, therefore, what I do affects you to a certain extent, and vice versa. Since you are practically glowing with energy, which vibrates and is carried out into the world, it follows that others will pick up on it and be impacted by it. So exude only the positive.   7. The Law of Conscientious Action Much like the principle of karma, this Law of Attraction follows the rule, "What you sow, you shall reap." Carry yourself with dignity and act only in a way that is honorable-to yourself and to others-and the rewards will be plenty.   Make the 7 Laws of Attraction work for you now and you won't need to find your fortune-your fortune will find you.   Resource Box: Michael Lee has unleashed the hidden power of universal laws of attraction and success. Listen to the audio at http://www.20daypersuasion.com/universal-laws.htm.   BANABU - Building A New And Better U / Building A New And Better Universe Fran