Perceptions

PERCEPTIONS


How was your latest car wash experience?

Did you take your car to a do-it-yourself car wash where you could ensure that every spot that needed to be cleaned was clean?

Did you approach the car wash cautiously, checking your windows 2 and 3 times to ensure that they were firmly secure so that no water could come inside? Then carefully ease your car up to the marked line and then wait - feeling powers beyond your control begin to move your car forward and then feel trapped inside when the thunderous rush of water, soap and brushes hit your car from all directions?

Or did you cheerfully approach the car wash, deposit your coins and gently guide your car into the tracks calmly and serenely.

Did you wonder if you were going to get stuck in the middle and be unable to get out? Did you wonder if the machinery would break down? Did you wonder if your windows Or did you sit back comfortably in your warm cocoon, knowing that you were in good hands and that the machinery was there simply to wash away the dirt and the grime to leave your car clean and ready to go again?

I was at my mom's a couple of weeks ago. Mom likes her car clean, but doesn't feel comfortable doing it on her own - well, she is over 80, so I guess that's why. As I was taking her car through the car wash, I thought about the various car wash experiences, and realized how this experience applies to our daily lives.

Some people see their lives as out of their control. They feel buffeted about by the trials and tribulations of life. They approach it with fear and trepidation, wondering what will hit them next. They are constantly looking around, waiting for the next blow.

Others see that they have set things in motion, that they are on the right track as they pass through life, and that the forces that buffet them are simply there to clean away the debris, leaving them refreshed and ready to carry on with a clean slate.

For those that like the do-it-yourself car wash, and I confess, I am one, our lives are probably much more controlled. We are not content to be on a pre-set track. We may be highly competitive. We may have to be number one. We may have to, as Frank Sinatra said "do it my way." Some of us may not be content to work for someone else, we have to be entrepreneurs so that we can guide our life in the way that we want it to be go. And we ensure that all the specks are removed, that there is nothing hindering us, that there is nothing in our way. It's all in how we perceive our life.

The same situation is often viewed very differently by people in each of these groups. That's why even "eye witness" accounts vary so much. Everyone has heard the question - is the glass half full or is it half empty? Do we look at what's missing - what we don't have, or do we consider the benefits and blessings we do have? Now my oldest son likes to say - "It depends on whether you are filling it up, or drinking it". However, most of us would have a set response. For those who have the scary car wash experience, they may see the glass and their life as half empty and out of their control. For people who see the glass as half full, they probably have a good car wash experience. They are content, calm, ready to travel on with life.

The way we look at things changes how we feel about what goes on in our lives, and how we deal with things. When it comes to employment, some people have a perception that a person without a grade 12 education is not worth hiring, yet there are a number of very successful businessmen, some even millionaires, who have less than a grade 8 education, but more smarts than a university graduate.

In the job search - if you think you won't get a job, your body image changes and the employer's perception of you and your abilities may be affected by this. Try this: Let your shoulders hunch forward, hang your head a little and say "I feel great". It's almost impossible to feel great when your posture says I feel lousy. Next, take a deep breath, put your shoulders back, your head up, a smile on your face and say, "I feel great". This time when you say it, you'll mean it. When you change the image, you also change the perception - both for yourself and the employer.

Our perceptions of events are coloured by the way we think, by the way we perceive life. I know a woman who has a beautiful home, an expensive car, fairly expensive clothes and she owns a company. People perceive her as being very rich. What they don't know is that her house is heavily mortgaged and that she has extensive credit card debt, and the clothes that she is wearing are probably 15-20 years old, purchased at a time when she had a little more money. But it is difficult to change people's perceptions. Someone else might be seen as incredibly poor, living in a tiny shack of a house, not driving the latest car, but that person may be very, very content with what they have. So, while others perceive them as being poor, they may see themselves as very, very rich.

Think about your perceptions. Are you full of hope? Or hopeless? Even the worst situations can have a positive side if we look for the silver lining. For those with a hopeless perspective, this is much more difficult as all they can see are the storm clouds. These people may need help to see that the sun always comes out eventually and that there is always another day, another chance to change things, to wash away the troubles of life.

It's up to the hope full people to lead the way. I challenge you to view life with a positive perspective. To look for the lesson in life's difficulties so that you can share what you've learned with others, so they too can survive and grow from their car wash experiences.

Fran Watson

A thought for today

Be ready when opportunity comes.... Luck is the time when preparation and opportunity meet.

D Chapin, Jr. Roy

Never be entirely idle; but either be reading, or writing, or praying or meditating or endeavoring something for the public good.

Thomas a Kempis (1380-1471)


Have a wonderful day!

Fran

Time Management

Don't say you don't have enough time. You have exactly the same number of hours per day that were given to Helen Keller, Pasteur, Michelangelo, Mother Teresa, Leonardo da Vinci, Thomas Jefferson, and Albert Einstein.

- H. Jackson Brown

Don't let yesterday use up too much of today.
-- Native American Proverb

You can clutch the past so tightly to your chest that it leaves your arms too full to embrace the present.
-- Jan Glidewell

Need Some Spark in Your Relationship???

3 Ways To Re-Spark The Magic Back Into Your Relationship

Are you frustrated that your relationship doesn’t have the magic and
romance that it once had? Feel like you're stuck in a rut and always doing the
same things?

You’re not alone. After dating someone for a long time, it's easy to
slip into a stable and comfortable routine. However, you often lose the spark
that made your relationship so special in the first place. Not to worry, here
are three simple, fun and creative ways to reignite that magic:

1. Give them a unique gift - Name a Star after your partner.
A number of astronomical agencies allow individuals to name stars and you receive
formal documentation identifying the star that you have named. Or how about
this: Give your partner a magic gift box, and every month place a new small
gift in the box for your beloved to discover.

2. Say "I love you" in a unique way - Take a book
that your partner is reading and, using a pencil, underline letters in a section
of the book she has yet to read to spell out a secret message of "I love
you" or an entire love letter. Doing it just like this. Or for something
really unique: You can buy special plants that grow and after 14 days display
a message of your choice on the leaf. Cool or what!

3. Start going on dates again - One thing that separates couples
with 'out of this world' relationships, is they never stop doing new, fun and
exciting things with their partner. In other words, they never stop dating and
neither should you.

Spend the day doing fun things: go to the carnival, the beach, have a water
fight, stare at the clouds on a grassy hill, go on a picnic, walk in the rain
without raincoats and umbrellas, dress up in funny costumes and hit the town.
Or how about this: Pick your partner up for a date and blindfold her before
driving to a special destination. Try to make the destination something really
unexpected like a table set up at the top of a cliff or a dinner on a boat or
old-fashioned ship. It needs to be something that will have an impact when she
removes the blindfold.

Believe me when I say that NOTHING can rekindle the love, passion and excitement
in your relationship more than going on fun and creative dates together.

About the Author:

Oprah Love Expert Michael Webb is the author of 300 Creative Dates,
a book jam-packed with ways to rekindle your relationship with creative and
romantic outings, including including ideas for every day dates, long distance
relationships, birthdays, anniversaries and more. To learn more, visit the creative
date ideas site

5 Relationship Tips You Should Know About

Thinking of Tying The Knot? 5 Tips To Make Sure You Stay Together

Did you know that love does NOT conquer all?

You see, often people get married with the idea that their “chemistry”
or undying love for each other will keep them together forever.

However, with almost 50% of marriages ending in divorce these days, it’s
obvious that this isn’t the case. Therefore, it pays to know a few little
secrets before getting married.

Here are 5 tips that help keep couples together long after tying the knot:

Tip #1 - Continue dating

Over the years, people often drift apart or relationships and marriages become
stale because couples fail to do new and special things together. That's why
going on new and refreshing dates is so important. In fact, there is something
about “dating” that creates a sense of magic in a relationship and
can even bring relationships out of a rut. While on a date, you also put more
effort into your appearance, have more uninterrupted time to communicate on
a deeper level and are naturally drawn closer together. Stuck for ideas? Spend
the day at the aquarium, zoo, museum, carnival, bookstore, beach or park.

Tip #2 – Delay is often better

It’s a well-documented statistic that couples who have dated for a year
or longer before marriage have a significantly lower rate of divorce than those
who married after a short dating period. A year of dating gives time for many
emotions to surface and many character traits to be discovered. You may adore
someone in the spring, but despise him or her in the winter. Asking someone
for his or her hand in marriage on the third date isn't romantic. It's gambling.

Tip #3 – Always express your love

Oftentimes, as a relationship matures, partners tend to stop praising each
other because they 'assume' their partner already knows what they're thinking.
When in reality, a day should never go by without you praising your partner.
Compliment them on their cooking, reaffirm that they're the greatest person
in the world or tell them they’re a wonderful role model. If you want
to be loved and romanced by your sweetheart, love and romance them first. When
they're feeling loved, it is much easier to love in return. Are you a super
supporter of what your mate does and says? So do you cheer them on and praise
them constantly? Or do they constantly hear boos or silence?

Tip #4 – Take time to understand your partner

Couples with the most problems are often the ones that say, "I just don't
understand him/her." So let me ask you: How knowledgeable are you about
your mate's profession or the degree they are pursuing? Do you know anything
about his or her family heritage? Are you able to have a meaningful conversation
about her cross-stitch hobby or his interest in rugby? If you are a man, do
you fully understand what women experience during PMS or menopause? You don't
need to be identical, but make an effort to learn about the things that interest
your partner in life and you'll grow closer as a result.

Tip #5 - Answer the BIG questions

Does your partner want kids? Do you both want careers? Do they have a history
of spending their way into debt? Do they go to church?

In my opinion, the biggest reason almost half of marriages end in divorce is
because couples fail to ask each other the right questions BEFORE they get married.
I guess people think they'll be able to change their spouses after marriage
and everything will be better. Wrong. If you fail to sit down and discuss finances,
religion, sex, housing, your future, and other topics in great detail, you could
end up with nothing but argument after argument for the rest of your days.

In the end, if you both have completely different views, desires and goals
in life, there’s no guarantee that chemistry or "I love you’s"
will help you stay together. Make it your utmost priority to understand each
other 'inside-out' BEFORE you take that walk down the aisle.

About the author:

Michael Webb is the author of “1000 Questions For Couples" the most
comprehensive book of questions that all couples should ask before getting married.
Covering lovemaking, religion, careers, money, children & raising them,
household work, personalities, the future and much much more. To learn more,
visit: 1000 Questions For Couples

Fran Watson

Insight

Happy New Year

"No, this is not an autoresponder message that is out of
sync. And I haven't gone off my rocker.

It's my way of reassuring you that regardless of what day it
is on the calendar, you can start a New Year today!

Think about it. Traditionally we all get excited about
setting goals on January 1. We are all revved up about
Taking Action - for about 2 weeks. Then we start to beat
ourselves up about why we haven't stuck with the plan - and
by March 1, we're tired and discouraged and think "oh well,
another year down the drain."

It doesn't have to be that way!

You can start a New Year ANY day of the year. For example,

- A New School Year starts the day after labor day.

- A new fiscal year starts for businesses on whichever day
they choose to start it.

- The Chinese new year starts on a different date every
year.

So decide TODAY that you're going to start a new year TODAY.

1. What goals do you have?

2. What actions do you need to take to achieve them?

Take a few minutes to write these down. You already know
what they are because you've set New Years Goals before. But
now you get a "bonus" new start for the year - right here in
the middle of September!"

This is from an email I received today. First it made me laugh a bit and then it made me really think about my goals for this year and how I'm doing on them. The year is 3/4 complete and I should have 3/4 of my goal accomplished. I'm sorry to say that I don't and now I know I will have to get busy and work a little harder!

How about you? How are you doing on the goals you set for youself this year? Are you halfway there, or still at the starting block? Well, there is no time like the present to get back on track. Take another look at your goals and see what it is that stopped you from achieving them. Were they too large? If so, break your goals into little steps. One step per week for the balance of the year. You will be surprised at how much you can achieve.

Take some time each evening to write down your goals for the next day, so that when you wake up your mind will already have begun processing the steps to accomplish those goals.

As I said above.....Happy New Year!

Fran Watson
http://www.quickinfo247.com/7910757/EE